Some of my biggest arguments with my husband had to do with my wanting to run. When it comes to having a healthy married life, it can be difficult to find time to run along with all the other priorities.
We both wanted our time but time would, well, run out—so he’d let me go and resentment built. This is a common scene in many households.
The husband and wife get home from work and the demands of life continue to pile up (sports practices, homework, dinner, packing lunches, cleaning, lingering work emails).
Meanwhile, both partners want or need their me time—for most of you reading this, that means running.
So, how can you keep your commitment to running from hurting your commitment to your partner and family?
Runners everywhere are figuring this out. Here are their top 5 secrets.
This blog post is brought to you by Whitney Heins from The Mother Runners – a community that brings together information and inspiration to help Mother Runners chase their dreams.
5 tips to have a healthy married life when training for your next race
Make it non-negotiable
Oddly enough, making it a “must” was the solution to our problem of us both wanting to run but neither of us getting to.
Instead of negotiating who gets to go, we set in stone that it was equally important for both of us.
We made it a “must” to look at the schedule each day and figure out who goes when. This ensured we both got our time and no resentment built.
Now, that “me” time may be running for you and something completely different for your husband. Whatever it is, make sure he knows you want him to have it and that he gets it.
As one runner puts it: “The bottom line is we support each other in our goals. It makes us better partners and parents when we get our runs in!”
It can be hard to fit a run into a busy schedule. Whatever you do, make sure you communicate with one another.
We need to practice what we preach to our kids and take turns with our partners.
Many husband and wife teams alternate running on the weekends (mom gets a long run on Saturday and dad gets it on Sunday). Or they alternate early morning wake-ups so each partner gets time to sleep in a bit more.
It’s important you negotiate these times and keep the balance intact. Sure, there will be times when one of you has to cover the other, but for the majority of times, alternating turns ensures you both get your fair share of running.
Get it in early
Speaking of getting up early, some runners get up and run long before the rest of their family is out of their beds.
This way running doesn’t impinge on family time. However, this does involve getting to bed earlier.
If you struggle to go for a morning run, try and introduce them gradually. I know it can be a challenge to pull yourself out of bed on those early mornings.
Compensate with date nights
If you’re crashing early because you’re kicking butt as a mother, runner, worker, partner, or whatever, good for you! You need to take care of yourself!
But obviously, your relationship with your partner is important. Like, really important.
It serves as a foundation for everything else. It’s like a garden that needs to be watered so everything else can grow and flourish.
So, water it by planning regular date nights so you can catch up on that lost time when you fell asleep on the couch or in your kid’s bed.
It’s amazing how a change of scenery—without interruptions—can really help reinvigorate a relationship. Heck, you could even go for a run as a date!
Runners are notorious for being inflexible. And, I’m not just talking about the inability to do the splits.
We can easily become fixated on times and mileage. But life happens—especially when you are a parent.
If work, illness, wake-ups, whatever, get in the way—don’t freak out. Sometimes your run isn’t going to happen.
That’s okay. Enjoy the rest time. Do some stretching and turn it into a recovery day.
That way you work on being flexible mentally—and physically—which is good for running—and life.