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72 funny running puns and running jokes that will make you laugh out loud

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There are plenty of funny running puns and running jokes out there that will have you bent over in laughter.

Whether you’re training for a 5k or marathon, these running puns and running jokes will provide you with motivation and laughter to tackle your next race.

Be sure to also check out the best running memes, best running quotes, best running movies and best race day sign ideas.

Here are 72 funny running puns and running jokes to keep you entertained and make you laugh out loud.

In this guide we’ll explore:

  • 32 funny running puns
  • 30 funny running jokes
  • 10 of the best “what are you running from” jokes

Ready?

Let’s go!

running puns

30 funny running puns

Here are the 30 best funny running puns to keep you motivated on your next run.

#1 Runners never eat a full meal before the race because they are supposed to fast.

#2 The only type of meal that runners eat before a big race to be at their peak powers is fast food.

#3 Even after the heart surgery, the marathon runner was setting the pace for this marathon. Guess this is why he had a pacemaker.

#4 All the marathon runners were disappointed that the race had been cancelled- another run bites the dust.

#5 During the marathon, the Swedish runner couldn’t complete the race because he stopped just before the Finnish line.

#6 I don’t particularly appreciate running marathons because it gives me the runs.

#7 Long-distance runners usually are good students because their education pays off in the long run.

#8 One should never train for sprints. That way, athletes would only win in the short run.

#9 I wanted to tell you one of my running jokes, but it somehow ran away.

#10 Two cowardly sprinters got into a fight after the marathon. I heard it was a hit and run.

#11 Penguins have a reputation of emerging as winners in marathons because they peng-win.

#12 Sir Paul McCartney was stopped from running a marathon once. He got banned on the run.

#13 The cow surprised everyone at the farm by running so fast. I think he really knows how to use his calf muscles.

#14 Pigs can never run marathons due to always pulling their hamstrings.

#15 Did you hear about the gardener who lost his race? Apparently, he took the wrong root.

#16 I forgot the next pun. Do you have anything to jog my memory?

#17 Did you see the fishmonger that completed the race? He came in last plaice, his heart and sole just weren’t in it.

#18 The snowman had to give up running because he couldn’t warm up.

#19 The DJ got disqualified from the 800m race because he kept changing tracks.

#20 I love doing LSD on my runs – “Low, Slow, Distance”.

#21 My dentist is such a good runner because he knows his drills.

#22 Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL win the marathon? Because he had the power of torn knee.

#23 Papers and pens will never win races because they are, in fact, stationary.

#24 When all the numbers came together for a race, the number 1 emerged victorious. This is because he one.

#25 In the race of vegetables and fruits, the lemon couldn’t win the sprint because it ran out of juice.

#26 After the two brothers reached the finish line, they fist bumped. Guess we could say that, in a way, the finish line was the punchline.

#27 The marathon runner was detained in the middle of the marathon by the police because he was resisting a rest.

#28 There have been efforts to have a marathon in Antarctica. The winners will win the medal of nowhere.

#29 When the couch won the marathon, his other couch friends were shocked because they hadn’t realised before that he could run sofa!

#30 The sprinter finished the race first despite having a late start because he was running a delay.

#31 I’ve got a gait feeling that I may win today. 

#32 She always wins the race. I guess it runs in her genes.

Related: 101 funny and motivational race day sign ideas

running puns

30 funny running jokes

Here are the 30 best funny running jokes to keep you laughing when your training gets tough.

#1 What do you get when you run in front of a car?

Tired

#2 How do you know you’re a dedicated runner?

When your treadmill has more miles than your car.

#3 What do you call a person who runs behind a car?

Exhausted

#4 Why do crazy runners run up hills?

They want to take the psycho-path.

#5 What do runners do when they forget something?

They jog their memory.

#6 What was the burglar’s motto for running in the marathon?

Run like you stole something.

#7 What did the optician say after running the marathon?

Eyesore after my long run – can we take the elevator?

#8 Why was the runner detained by police after the run?

Because he was resisting a rest.

#9 Why did the couch potato win the race?

Because he could run sofa.

#10 Have you heard the joke about the runner?

No, jog my memory.

#11 What injury did the pig sustain during the marathon?

A pulled hamstring.

#12 Why did the cow run so fast?

Because he knew how to use his calf muscles.

#13 Why did the gardener lose the race?

Because he took the wrong root.

#14 What did Freddie Mercury say at the end of the marathon?

Another run bites the dust!

#15 What was the cowardly sprinter charged with?

A hit and run.

#16 Why didn’t the runner appreciate running marathons?

Because he always had the runs.

#17 Why was the DJ disqualified from the 800m sprint?

Because he kept changing tracks.

#18 Why did the lawyer win the race with a torn ACL?

Because he had the power of a torn knee.

#19 Why did the snowman give up the race?

Because he couldn’t warm up.

#20 What did Elton John say at the finish line of the London Marathon?

Don’t let the run go down on me.

#21 What did the TV salesman say to the customer?

It has a lifetime gua-run-tee!

#22 What did the finishers of the Antartica Marathon win?

A medal of nowhere.

#23 Why did the pen lose the race?

Because it was stationary.

#24 Why was Paul McCartney stopped from running the race?

He got banned on the run.

#25 Why was the dentist a good runner?

Because he knew his drills.

#26 Why was the student a good marathon runner?

Because he paid off in the long run.

#27 What was the finish line of the Helsinki Marathon called?

The Finnish line.

#28 What do policemen call the finish line?

The thin blue line.

#29 Why couldn’t the marathon runner tell the running joke?

Because it ran away with him.

#30 Why couldn’t the lemon finish the marathon?

Because it ran out of juice.

Related: 15 of the best inspirational running movies of all time

running puns

10 of the best “what are you running from” jokes

You may hear the question randomly yelled at you when you’re out running: “What are you running from?”

Either from the pavement or out of a car window, it’s nonetheless a surprise on your run.

#1 What are you running from?

My crushing sense of self doubt.

#2 What are you running from?

Adult responsibilities

#3 What are you running from?

99 problems.

#4 What are you running from?

Heart disease.

#5 What are you running from?

Fat me. He’s right behind me!

#6 What are you running from?

Your idiocy.

#7 What are you running from?

My feelings.

#8 What are you running from?

From people like you asking this stupid question.

#9 What are you running from?

My fat ass.

#10 What are you running from?

Ninja assassins.

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